Solid Gold is Solid Gold

When I first got hooked on Gang of Four in 2005, I immediately fell in love with Entertainment!. It's a swell album. I soon after bought Solid Gold and didn't really like it as much. I guess this mainly had to do with my penchant, my natural penchant, for faster songs. Vitriol is what I need! And this need for speed doesn't even really qualify good or bad. For example, I love the Birthday Party. They're nervous, faster, and much more angry than Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. But Nick Cave's work is FAR more important and useful than the Birthday Party. Still, I don't commonly put on Abattoir Blues versus Hee-Haw on your average Tuesday night. See what I mean? Same thing with the Replacements. I'm nuts over their first album, but it really can't compare to Let it Be, an album I listent to much less often but which is yards better.

What I am trying to say then is, while I do think Entertainment! is more enjoyable and faster and more significant, Solid Gold really is a much better album than I first thought.

At-first one might be put off with it's slower, mid-tempo nerves and grooves, but this album is a delight. "Paralysed" is such a great first song, so much so even Black Flag would name their first track on In My Head the same, although with the American "z" thrown in instead of the "s." I think this is just coincidence, as I bet Henry Rollins thought/still does think Gang of Four are a bunch of fags. Whatever the reason though, both bands had some brains to make such cool song titles be their opening tracks on such different yet eerily similar albums.

And who can't dig "Why Theory?":

Each day seems like a natural fact
And what we think changes how we act
So to change ideas
Change is what we do
Too much thinking makes me ill
I think I’ll have another gin
A few more drinks it’ll be alright

It's kind of pedantic, especially the part on booze, but I still struggle daily with the full meaning of the first line: each day seems like a natural fact. It's not that complex, but still offers me a little mystery, no matter how useless.

I never really cared for "Cheeseburger," but it's an alright track.

The thing I guess I like best about this album though, aside from it's killer cover art, is the collective feeling of edgey malaise. What Gang of Four did so well on this album is that they made a huge bummer of an album that you can still dance too but not feel gimmicky while doing so. I mean, you can dance to depressing Bauhaus songs, but then you just start thinking about vampires and it kind of loses it's organic feel. This is edgey, nervous, dancey music that's bummed out and slightly angry, but perfect for your average, smart white kid. It's like Unknown Pleasures without the apocalypse. Unknown Pleasures is about sitting in a room alone and planning on killing one's self while listening to Iggy Pop and hating your wife, whereas Solid Gold is about being a little drunk on a Thursday, seeing through loads of bullshit, and feeling dull and pointless and yet a little playful. Much more organic and relatable right?

I guess it also has a lot to do with mood. Gang of Four's first album is just as pissed, but works more on building tension, and then releasing it in bursts. Solid Gold is all about the build, and never really the release.

So while I normally will grab Entertainment! with relish, maybe it just tells me I prefer
Solid Goldright now because I am not interested in release or too much tension. I need just the right amount of tension. But no release. I'm looking inward. Also, I listen to Hard when I want to be entertained in a very mindless disco sort of way (btw, like Solid Gold, Hard is very underrated, but in a completely divergent sort of way. Solid Gold is the Brian Eno to Hard 's B-52s).

Also, the CD updated version screws up everything, as it includes the Another Day/Another Dollar EP which has one of my favorite Gang of Four song's ever "To Hell with Poverty." It's an absolutely raucous dance-punk gem. That song being coupled with Solid Goldscrews up this whole essay I've written here.

Rads Lifes

Wine doesn't make me drunk, it just makes me light headed and then it goes away.

The first time I ever got drunk was in 8th grade. I chugged one of those big bottles of cheap red wine. I felt great for about 15 minutes and then vomited a vile black spew. Luckily, my friend's brother had a birthday that night, so when the Mom came up to see what the commotion was all about, my friend just told her I had too much cake and she went away. I can only imagine what that Mother thought as she walked away from a fresh pile of digested wine on her carpet.

I am very thankful this Thanksgiving. Having two turkeys tomorrow. One grilled, one brined? I always look on past Thanksgivings with great fondness. It's so ridiculous in so many ways, but just so great. Drinking, eating, talking, and football. They don't do things like this in Nigeria.

And gas is like $1.67!

Did you know at the 1st Thanksgiving reportedly only 4 women made the big meal for 400 people? Hardcore.

"Hanging on the Telephone" by the Nerves is one of the best songs I've ever heard in my life. Period. It's like Television and Sleater Kinney and the Beatles all rolled into one. But perfect.

I don't care for the Blondie version.

The Nerves' "anthology" "One Way Ticket" was just released by Bomp Records and includes all their recorded tracks (six from their sole release) and then a bunch of live tracks (some sounding better than others). I bought it digitally on iTunes for cheap. I also bought it from Bomp for $14 for a red colored vinyl version that's only 1 of 500. It's funny but if you YouTube "The Nerves," a recent in-studio at Waterloo or some record store in Austin will be one of the few things that pops up. The Nerves (all bald and old looking) play the seminal song, giving it their darndest.

One thing about being single: your ex-girlfriend doesn't get a single drop of the new music you buy. It's funny I was thinking today, 8 months later, we're driving around, having a great time, FRIENDS, just having so much fun, and she's like "So ummm....I meant to ask you. That music you downloaded? The Nerves? The Birthday Party? Lilliput? All that great shit? Can I like.......burn that stuff and put it on my computer?"

And I will laugh and go "NO." And glare.

Music is a very personal thing to me. Once you exit the building, there is no getting back in.

It's funny when I first started coming back to Sugar Land for holidays, I always thought I had something to prove. There were girls, and people in high school, and kids from college. It was a big grab bag of post-teenage partying and nonsense. People had sex, and shot of fireworks, and bands played. That's all long gone though, as probably since Summer 2007 it's just turned into a big health spa for me. No friends, no enemies, no partie, no lust. All it is is a nice dinner with my parents, some boring movies, a lot less booze (it's there, I just don't grab it), bike rides, tennis, and taking it easy. This used to bother me at first, but now I just enjoy it. I feel bad for kids who have to leave MSU to go back to Detroit or some crap.

Salty Texas, "Says Good Mornin'!" is coming out with a new album in Spring '09 hopefully. I have thirteen songs right now, so why not? I am trying to finish 5 more for quality purposes (only the best get it) but it should work. I am glad no one probably knows what Salty Texas is. Keep 'em guessing.

Their is nothing wrong with sucking the juice that flows off the suburbs smooth soft skin.

Ways in Which I Am Different Now

I am single.
I cut down a lot on beer.
I ride my bike everyday anywhere from 6-12 miles.
I quit cooking.
I don't read books unless they are assigned.

But I watch the same amount of movies.

You know how if you never get depressed, you get depressed one day, it really hurts you regardless of the degree of depression. But if you are depressed everyday, some depressed days are better than others b/c "hey, i was 3x as depressed last week. i may be depressed right now, but it could be worse." Yeah.

Boring Girls

By Pissed Jeans. Excellent song:

There's only one type of girl on my mind
She's always on my mind
When I leave the house, I see them outside
They're always on my mind
I think of a girl that I really really need
That money can't buy
I would never be mean to these girls
They're always on my mind
Oh I want to smile for boring girls
I would walk a mile for boring girls
Oh I want to touch those boring girls
I hope I'm not too much for boring girls

There's only one type of girl on my mind
She's always on my mind
When I leave my house I see them outside
They're always on my mind
This is a girl that money can't buy
You know you caught my eye
There's only one type of girl on my mind
She's always on my mind
This is a girl that money can't buy
You know you caught my eye
There's only one type of girl on my mind
She's always on my mind

Oh I want to touch those boring girls
I hope I'm not too much for boring girls
Oh I want to kiss those boring girls
When they're gone I miss those boring girls
Oh I want to touch those boring girls
I hope I'm not too much for boring girls
Oh I want to kiss those boring girls
I know I miss those boring girls

Luckie

This is my old roommate at UTSA, one of three, and his name is Demetrius.
He was always very quiet, but a nice fellow.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Life Candy: Fat Lady Eating Pizza - #3

I swear to all that's holy, a mere two weeks after seeing a fat guy chomping on ice cream outside the TSM building at UT, in the exactly same spot I saw something amazing one Friday. This time I was not waiting for a ride against my will to West Texas, no sire, this time I was getting on my bike to ride home up Duval.

And I saw, driving in a black American sedan from the late 90s, blasting the Dixie Chicks really loud, a fat lady eating a piece of pizza and licking her fingers.

Yes my friends. The American Dream.

Soon to come: Morrissey lyrics and drinking. Has or does Mr. Moz really ever have a few of the alcomohols? He'd like to make you think so.

Dead Milkmen Interview!!!

Last Saturday morning before FUN FUN FUN FEST. here in Austin, Ben Seligson and I and a few of his buddies set up an interview with the Dead Milkmen. This weekend is Fun Fun Fun Fest, so we were like "Let's get some bands!" The Milkmen JUST reunited for the first time in four years, so we were like "yeah right that'll never happen." So we asked a bunch of other bands to come in for in-studio shows/interviews. We asked Minus the Bear, the Spinto Band, Dan Deacon, and a few others. We figure, "Well at-least we can get to do some of these guys since the Milkmen won't wanna come."

Guess who was the only one of all the above bands to not cocktease us by never confirming a show or interview with KVRX even though their managers kept emailing us telling us they were totally working on it or that it was 99% possible.

The Dead Milkmen. And their show was so good, it knocked all the other bands I saw that day out of the water. Excpet Municipal Waste who were pretty awesome. "BEEEEEERRRR PRESSURE!!!!"

Check out the interview below. I'll be honest, I always kept getting the guys confused, especially when I met them. I thought Rodney was the singer, but when I met him he didn't act like a singer, so I thought wait "Dean sings? No he plays drums." It was confusing, but as soon as Rodney Anonymous got on stage last night he was like 18 yr. Rodney all over again. They sounded so great!!!! And they covered Bauhaus.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/51068813b1b0f336/

Life Candy: Hipster vs. Fat Lady - #2

So I went to American Apparel day before Halloween (to buy a tank top - long story short, I was going to go as Peter Kriss of Kiss in a jogging outfit, but it was another terrible idea of mine and it all went to hell and I ended up going as, well, a guy wearing a tank top who carried a bottle of gin around; needless to say it wasn't the most exciting Halloween of the decade), to desperately attempt to salvage any hope for a decent Halloween costume , and I am walking around the store and there are so really obnoxious blonde girls trying things on. I had nothing against them, but they were really loud, and said dumb things of the "Candice that is so hot!" and "Jennifer I'm going as a troll!!!" variety. Whatever. So I am in line, and one of the blonde people exits the dressing room and gives shape to her voice and it turns out she's really fat. Like no bueno big. Whatever. I'm in line and she goes up to the ad nauseum hipster working the counter (Asian hipster dressed as Peter Pan) and says, "Hey just wanted to let you know, next time you make fun of customers out loud while they are trying things on and you think they can't hear you, maybe you should do it a little louder next time so they can know how big a of a BITCH you're being." The hipster is admittedly shocked, but manages a snarky "Have a nice DAY!!!!" and continues working as the fat lady exits the store. I have no idea where her blonde compatriots toddled off to, but either way they were gone.

The thing that got me about this scenario was I had no in the moment context to go on. Assuming I had to root for someone in the confrontation, the only way I could judge the situation would be to use generalized biases and stereotypes associated with the groups the people seemed to belong to. These would to help me form a judgement and opinion on the matter since I arrived too late in the scene to tell what was really gone on and who really crossed the line. So I go with what I know. For example, I judge the hipster as a semi-affluent, pretentious, silly, useless person. And the fat lady as a loud, brackish, unhealthy, vacuous person. But these significations are totally bogus when you think about them as a basis of judgement --- sure it might be fun to use one every now and again towards the butt of a joke ("hipster walks into a bar..."), but to use both together and nothing else to figure out how you stand on a complex, heated, social situation? That's totally biased thinking right there. That's not knowing nearly enough facts. Now you could say I had no business judging a situation I happened to waltz into ignorantly, but it's my world too. Let me interpret. Life is boring! Stuff like this is what it's all about.

So I was in a quandary. Even if I was still to go with my biases, I didn't like either person. So who to choose. It was like having to decide between a vulture and a hyena in a fight in the African savvanah. You really have no preference either way.

The best part though, was after the fat lady left, another hipster employee comes up to the Peter Pan hipster and states, "ummm Christina, what do you want on your pizza?" The Peter Pan hipster curtly replies as she forcefully scans an electric pink pair of hot pants for a customer, "I don't WANT pizza!"

Age Death

Help Me Obi-Wan Kenobi, You're My Only Hope

I sat at a table of people last night, and they all enthusiastically thought Henry Rollins was a total douche. OK the gym shorts thing is pretty embarrassing, but he's not THAT bad?

I am now single. For the first time in 3 years. It's scary, and it hurts, but it feels pretty good. I am looking forward to clean living, real living; to an extent.

"Out of this World" by Black Flag is an excellent song to listen to when you're angry and want to laugh a little.

Obama-Nation. I don't like that pun, but I don't mind the idea. 

Man, last night was the best 5 hours of sleep I've had in a long while.

Fun Fun Fun Fest this weekend. I got a ticket for Saturday for free, and I was thinking of getting one for Sunday as well, but that just seems like too much. It's such a long weekend of music, I'd be alone for most of it, so it seems pretty stupid to go Sunday just to dude-bro it alone on my lonesome. I think I will just stick with Saturday.

Nothing else to say.

Life Candy: Fat Guy Eating Ice Cream - #1

While waiting outside TSM on Whitis to be picked up to be whisked off to West Texas for  the day (another epic story in and of itself), I saw a fat man with a beard trotting alone at a comfortable pace eating an ice cream cone and chatting on his cell phone. It was a Drumstick. Some of it was stuck in the top part of his beard. He was about 1/2 done. He seemed really satisfied.

It made me really happy. It also made me want to eat an ice cream. And gain 60 pounds.

Teacher Drinks

God I have to wake up at 7am to teach 12 year olds and I;m half druk. Ad my girlfrieds N key is super ot working so wathever. decode the shit.

Life can be fun at times, but right ow its just ok. i wish things were better ad I kow they will be, but it's just time trials dudes.

CMJ was rad. NY is so big, ad even though all the cool shows were in the lower east side, or brookyln (where I stayed) it was hard to get around, ad tiring. I did well though. Also, my cronies at KVRX stayed in super-lame Flat Bush, which is south of Williamsburg where I stayed, ad it was very hard to connect with them b/c of it. Both go to the city easy, but not in the same place. Add to the fact my Williamsburg folks did't have badges, and you poor author doesn't feel the desire to roam for free indie rock in NYC at 2:30 am aloe. DUH.

I t was a good time thogh.

Time to teach bra.

New York I Love You (But You're Expensive)

I'm off to New York tomorrow. Before I get to that everyone watch this right now:



As for New York, I am going to CMJ all expenses paid by UT with my good friends Tim and Cody. We are representing KVRX 91.7fm, UT's radio station that I work for. We leave tomorrow at 2:30 and have to fly out of Dallas, which sucks. WTF Austin "Intl."? Anyways, I have friends who live up there who are graciously letting me stay with them in Brooklyn in the ole' Williamsburg, a place which I have been told by many non-Williamsburg New Yorkers to not in fact be the center of the world.

CMJ as I have come to learn through word of mouth is a lot like SXSW: bands, panels, films, drinking. Only thing is you can get much drunker because you don't have to drive anywhere ever. Also the weather doesn't make one want to change ones shirt every 3 hours. That said, it's all pretty silly when you really think about what we are actually being sent to do though --- talk to distributors. We talk to them on the phone all the time. What's a little face time going to change? Plus, we already know full-well what each distro. offers: Pirate kinda sucks; Terrorbird (perfectly named after a Mae Shi record) has a never ending supply of awesome, glitchy, poppy stuff; AAM specializes in big name and fringe big name bands such as, hmm, Weezer; Syndicate is pretty good most of the time; Planetary is kind of faceless. So a little hand shaking and chit chatting and free boozing (although appreciated) won't really change the way we do things. Am I really going to more readily tear open a certain package because of a week long jaunt in NY? I guess that's what "business" is all about however ---- throwing money at things. Yet who am I to complain ---- it really is all going to be pretty amazing. I already have a neat little list of parties to go to, bands to see. Some of the best include: Crystal Castles, Crystal Stilts (sadly I am not sure if Crystal Antlers will be attending), Jay Reatard, A Place to Bury Strangers; plus a George Clinton AND also a RZA Panel. Insane.

I am not sure what's better: getting most drunk during the DAY or at night. I'll let you know what I find out.

My Senior Seminar Professor Rules

Professor Nehring rules. Thumbs up indeed.

Stop Sampling the Clash!!!!!

Dammit, I am sick of people sampling the Clash. It is SOOOO annoying. First M.I.A's "Paper Planes," and now today as I was walking through the First Colony Mall with my Mom (I know, I'm really cool) I heard some stupid techno song that used THE ENTIRE MUSICAL PART of "The Magnificent Seven." It wasn't just part of it; it wasn't even a modern reinterpretation. They TOOK of Joe Strummer's singing and PUT ON TOP OF IT lame techno crap.

Stop it! Joe Strummer is dead! You're not helping his music!

Also, while I am at it, UPS really needs a new song. "Such Great Heights" is soooo I am at UTSA it's Fall 2004/ultra-depression/wanna die.

Rogues and Vagabonds

Proof that back then sucked just as bad "back now."

Sounds kind of like Austin right? This is from the mid 16th c. The Elizabethan definition of "rogues and vagabonds." Apparently back then, wool became a hot commodity, and so land became enclosed and the poor had no where to go but the city. Where they festered. So the government sent them to America! Where they died! A lot of them! Anyways, rogues and vagabonds:

". . . All persons calling themselves Schollers going about begging, all seafaring men pretending losses to their Shippes or goods on the sea going about the country begging, all idle persons going about in any Country either begging or using any subtile crafte or unlawful Games . . . comon Players of Interludes and Minstrells wandering abroade . . . all wanderingpersons and comon Labourers being persons able in bodye using loytering and refusing to work for such reasonable wages as is taxed or commonly given . . . ."

This guy to the right's totally a rogue

1992

I just couldn't resist this one. Looks like the cover of an early 80s punk EP.

Pallin' Downs

She believes in The Rapture.
In other news the new Fucked Up is pretty good. It will melt you face off.

Frat Sucker

I'm pretty nervous. There is so much going on! Nothing I am not used to. But I have so much I want to do and so little time to do it. Plight of the middle class.

I need to buy a bike. Parties tonight. Big paper due Monday. French test Monday. Teaching my first observed lesson Monday.

Trying to start a band. People aren't really into it right now/we're all busy. But we're trying.

I'm going to New York October 21th-24th. It's for CMJ (College Music Journal) Festival. It's a collection of indie rock distributors and college radio station music directors. I fall into the latter category. I am going with my fellow MD Tim and our manager Cody. I'm really happy to be going, really lucky. We pick up our tickets at Judson Memorial Church, right next to NYU. And I realized ---- hey I've been there. When I visited my sister in NY in 2003, I remember meeting some friends from TX there late at night, in Washington Square Park. It was really dark and fizzy with rain.

Oh, the days of being 17.

I have strange feelings about Fall. Good, but strange.

Let's Go to the Beach!!!

I guarantee this will get stuck in your head all day long.

Hitler Farts on Alien

Found by Ariana C. Featured on mspaintporn.net. Aboslutely NSFW or humanity. But I do love it.

Digital Nerdage

This album totally rules. I like it so much better than "77".

Lately I've been bat-shit nuts obsessed with iTunes. Yes, iTunes, the same thing your Mom uses to download Josh Groban songs for her infrequent iPod jogs.

I use iTunes because, a) I have ethics, nay, I have scruples about downloading music, nay I actually, come to think of it, could care less about the moral consequences of downloading --- downloading music just takes a really long time. That or the album I want is not available. Seriously it took me three months to torrent "The Shit Hits the Fans" by The Replacements. What the hell?

I also use iTunes because b) it's a digital age. Yes I would love to buy all my albums on vinyl but that just is not happening. The market for vinyl is so small unless you want to hop on GEMM (http://www.gemm.com/) and buy a Nick Cave record for 40 drachmas or something from some guy in Greece. But that's why I think makes vinyl records so special, and far be it from me to want to change that. So that's out. That leaves CDs. And what about CDs? Well comrade, I realized recently that I hate CDs. Bear in mind, this is a new development in my life. In 2005 when a roommate of mine sold all his CDs to Waterloo ($500-600 worth) my jaw dropped. Up until last year, I had a CD or two a month habit at-least. I even had a clever scam going at Waterloo, where, using their liberal CD exchange policy I could milk two or three CDs out of one $9.99 purchase. Yeah, sometimes I would pay $11.99, but still, that's only $4 a CD! But it got cumbersome. No only did I feel like a prick burning my gas to scam some 28 year old with long hair, but the actually CDs became pointless. I can't play them in my car (my Jetta's CD player works 1/8th of the time; otherwise it just spits 'em out like bad chaw). I certainly am not going to come home from a hard day's work, brew some hibiscus black tea and curl up with a nice compact disc. What the hell is this, 1998? Where is my extr alarge orange soccer shirt? As far as I am concerned, the CD is dead. I found a 10 disc CD case the other day, in the bowels of my closet, yknow one for the car, hiding from a quick death, and right before I tossed it in the trash, I looked at it quizzically as if it were an ancient Mesopotamian contraceptive device or something. What is this, and what is it good for?

OK CDs aren't totally useless. I just bought Kinks Kronikles on CD because it wasn't on iTunes. 8 bucks. Plus, nothing's more fun than putting your boombox in the living room, spinning some ceedes (as I just now awkwardly started calling them colloquially to myself), and getting down. Oh and this way, no dude-bro can steal your iPod. Yes, he can steal your copy of "Kill Uncle" by Morrissey, but that's besides the point.

Last but not least, c) I think downloading sites that you pay monthly for are faggy. Yes I know, these programs are much cheaper than paying $9.99 for an album on iTunes (many are #10 a month with several albums coming with such a price), and because of this I am thinking subscribing to one more and more. But in addition to my American fear at adding yet another monthly bill to my bank account's arsenal, Tthese sites however having a pretty mediocere selection. Like one I used for a little while to scam a trial membership package out of them (I got Theoretical Record and a Sham 69 compilation for) eMusic, they didn't even have "Never Mind the Bollocks." They didn't even have any MADONNA! My God. eMusic, get back to me when you have ANYTHING besides a deluge of shitty indie rock.

And that is the allure of iTunes to me. At a whim I can get nearly ANY record I want with the push of a button. And it's only $10. 10 bucks. Your average CD on Amazon will be more than that. Yeah you can get many for under 10, but 1/2 the time they smell or are scratched to hell. But then you still have to wait for it in the mail! What is this 1950s mail order? With iTunes you can,instantly get literally anything. In recent memory the only band I noticed them not having was Shellac. And that's really no surprise (you can't even buy their albums on the Touch N Go website in vinyl form). But iTunes large selection is the biggest reason why iTunes works for me so well: I am taking care of my list.

My list is a stupid paragraph on my computer in a word document that's on my desktop entitled "Import." "Import" is short for important, and it damn well is. There I put my tasks for the week, keep track of how much money my friends owe me, make lists of where I've eaten new for the year in addition new movies and books I've enjoyed. And as said above, it's where I put my list: my list of albums to "get into" as the nerdy as hell white guy phrase goes (does any one else use this phrase? Pleas don't tell me if you do not). It's my list of "music to get into."

Most of the stuff on the list I might never well get to in my lifetime as the list is so vast (seriously what the hell is "World of Pooh"?), but because of iTunes I have been chipping away mightily at it. And it works so well! Normally, when I want a CD, I will go to Waterloo. Waterloo never has anything I want. I can't tell you how many times I have gone there and not found any A Certain Ratio behind the "A Certain Ratio" card deal in the C section of the store. Why do they keep the card sitting there? And it infuriates me so! So much so, that I don't even want to ask the employees to order it. That and I am shy. And don't like talking to 29 year olds.

So buying it in Austin, TX is out of the question (oh and I don't shop anywhere besides Waterloo, sorry kids; and Trailerspace; it has great vinyl; seriously, no where else right now; I went to Sound on Sound last week and it just sucked). I will then ponder buying it on Amazon. Like usual they probably don't have it either. Add previously mentioned frustrations, and no Amazon. Then what happens is I forget about the album, and my list just keeps get bigger. And I get frustrated with my self.

But because of glorious Steve Jobs and his glorious iTunes I've ripped through my list with a vigorous fury. I've bought albums that have been on my list for years, such as (and I will put the album names just to be extra snooty) "Inflammable Material," "More Songs About Buildings and Food," "Grotesque (After the Gramme)," "The Modern Lovers," a lot of Stranglers, "Chairs Missing," "The Correct Use of Soap," "The Modern Lovers," a Poison Girls compilation, "Machine Gun Etiquitte," "More Dead Cops," "Dance with Me," a Robyn Hitchcock album that's ok, some shitty Cure albums (more on this later), and an Avengers compilation. Sure it's cost me like $200 bucks but at-least I got them, at-least I didn't have to deal with Fedex or UPS, and at-least I don't have even more square shaped pieces of plastic stacked in a shelf laying around collecting dust at my house.

In conclusion, yes, I am paying more than if I were using a monthly paid music site, and WAY more than if I was illegally downloading music, but at-least I am not spending as much money as I would if I bought everything on useless CDs. To own the amount of albums I do in 1986 would have been pretty pricey, even when you contextualize how much the dollar was worth back then what with inflation and all.

Man I need to call Apple and learn how to put my Mp3s on a CD. Fingers crossed. Anyone know?

In other news, I am 13 episodes away from being done with The Sopranos. It's been a long summer.

Punk Class

My God, this is turning into a punk blog, ^waka waka^. No but seriously, my senior seminar for my English degree at UT fucking rules. It's simultaneously the coolest/easiest English class I've ever taken in my life. It's called "Poets and Punks" and is all about counterculture lit. and music in England from '58 to the late '70s. We've read so far Osborne's "Look Back in Anger," a silly, mysogynistic play about a proto-Johnny Rotten figure who misses the Edwardian era and takes it out on his wife by burning and beating her. We saw some good clips of Kenneth Branauagh (sic) and some lady acting it out in the '80s. I think my professor, Neil Nehring, was a bit harsh on it. He basically says it's garbage and boring, but I think it was just 1/2 bad.

Next we read "Absolute Beginners" by Colin MacInnes. Written in '58 as well, this novel was part of an unconnected trilogy on chaotic, urban, London life, and was later adapted for the screen in 1986 by Julien Temple of "Flith and the Fury" fame. Temple made the film into a musical (?) and it starred David Bowie who sang this one song for the movie called "That's Motivation" which is probably one of the worst Bowie songs I've ever heard. Accordingly, I am a bit wary of the film, but Ray Davies makes a cameo in the film as somebody's Dad!

All in all, my teacher thought that book sucked too. See, both MacInnes and Osborne were writing about edgey countercultures but at the same time, in their novels, implicitly took on the prescribed but very incorrect mental outlook of the so-called "UK class conflict disappearing." It's a long story, but kids in the 50s (right after the "teenager" was invented in the US) in the UK had cash (especially the working class ones, who still could live at home but could also work). The government added this all up and decided class had disappeared. Because a few leather clad biker kids could buy records. And everyone was "rich." Whatever. Anyways, it was popular to in think this way, this hippie, idealist sort of way, about class "disappearing," but it was total bullshit. And you can see this in both of the novels we read, the novelists prescribing still to old ideas of class in which in their eyes the lower class is dirty and stupid, and law and order and stability are a penultimate social desire. THESE are the guys you want writing about your countercultures? No. But, thing is, well, no one else was writing about them. At-least Osborne hated women and MacInnes was a fag. That's pretty punk rock, right?

Stilltoe's "Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner" (which I am pretty sure Fugazi nixed for that one song Red Medicene) is the first work we are reading in which the author is pro-class war/reality in which he fully acknowledges that life is unfair and that their is still a large class hierarchy in the UK. Thing is, though, is that even though he was playing the anti-social card in terms of his view on "class war," Stilltoe became a best-selling author with almost all of his books (even though he gave up on the working class in the early '60s), where as tepid, conservatives Osborne and MacInnes, who were technically writing in a highly status quo manner of ethos, sold muchhhh less. Funny.

Anyways, I've learned a lot of neat specific music things of interest I shall now list in a bulleted fashion for your enjoyment:

-Teddyboys were a really lame gang in the late 1950s and dressed like gamblers in 1950s American westerns. They had early rockabilly hair though.
-Teddyboys, and by extension a complementary form of them in the late 1960s, Skinheads, were never really racist to begin with. In fact, early Skinheads listened to a lot of ska and black music, as they were sick of what was happening in music in England at the time (cough, cough, The Beatles)
-Mods turned into "hard mods" which then turned into Skinheads which then turned into the racist pricks of the 1980s. That's why they all wear Fred Perry shirts!

My mouth tastes like metal. Time to listen to AIDS Wolf'.

Misfits 7th grade

Today as I was driving home from my student teaching (I teach and observe a 7th grade ELA class at Murchison two days a week), the Misfits song "I Turned Into a Martian" came on the ol' shuffle. As I was listening to the song's main chorus line, "I turned into a martian/whoa oh oh/I can't even recall my name," I made an interesting connection to a Ray Bradbury story the kids were reading on Monday titled "Their Eyes Were Dark but Shining."

It's a short little story of a family that moves to Mars in the future. Apparently they are a part of a colonization project, as only several hundred earthlings have made the trip. The father seems reticent to stay on Mars permanently, what with the dust and the sight of looming, ancient ghost towns of Martians past bothering him, but is calmed by the fact that he can, at a whim's notice, hitch a rocket back to Earth. Then suddenly news hits the town that NYC has been destroyed by nuclear bombs, and that they are now all stranded on Mars for a very long time.

Eventually the father awakes at night speaking a weird word. He calls his local anthropologist (random) and asks him what it means. "It's Martian for 'Earth','' the anthropologist says. Then the father's son Dan wants to be called Lyrrtl or something. As you can expect the town slowly becomes Martians, and they move away from the Earth colony and rename all the physical features of Mars Martian names instead of the old American names they adopted such as Roosevelt Mountains, and Rockefeller Plauteau. In the end, all traces of their former human lives are gone, and the Earthlings don't even notice that such a change has occurred. The story ends with some soldiers coming to Mars from Earth on a rescue mission. They find the Earth town empty, and figure Martians killed all the settlers.

Danzig sure is a nerd.

Ramones Mania: Pt. 2 (Leave Home)

Leave Home Sire January 10, 1977 148 45

Yes, the dreaded sophomore album. Although it may not be as wildly catchy or original as "Ramones," this album still packs a strong Ramones punch. Despite featuring one of the most artistic and progressive looking album covers of their oeuvre, most of this album's inability to trump "Ramones" lies in the fact that some time in 1975- 1976, the Ramones wrote about 30 songs all at once. It's easy to figure that, being the lunk-head NYC pragmatists that they were, the Ramones would put the best songs on the first record since it was their first offering to the scene, and put the rest, the not as amazing songs, onto "Leave Home." Johnny Ramone however, disputes this saying, "We recorded them in the order they were written; we wanted to show a slight progression in song structure." Still, be this as it may, "Leave Home" has some exciting and even personal moments. "Glad to See You Go" is about Connie Ramone, Dee Dee's late girlfriend who used to beat the shit out of any poor female who had the ill fortune of even talking to Dee Dee. "Gimme Shock Treatment," another classic, archetypal Ramones riff on mental health, features amazing, unexpected laser noises in the chorus, a post-production addition that is rarely on any Ramones album from their golden period. "I Remember You" is a banal, throwaway Ramones ballad, a style that they would improve on and perfect fully and sincerely on their next album with one of my all-time favorite Ramones ballads, "Here Today, Gone Tomorrow."

"Oh Oh I Love Her So" while albeit a brainless Ramones love song, was an early indication of the power-pop stylings the Ramones would latch onto on later albums like "Road to Ruin" and "Subterranean Jungle." While safe, it is a markedly fun, poppy, catchy and well-produced style that would go on to be one their most reliable in the studio. "Oh Oh I Love Her So" also features the key line "I met her at the Burger King, fell in love by the soda machine." This is notable because further down the line on a song entitled "I'm Against It" on "Road to Ruin," another different attitude altogether towards Burger King is expressed, leaving these two songs to exist as a strange, unresolved dichotomy concerning the fast food establishment. Style wise, however, despite songs like "Oh Oh," "Leave Home," is not as power-poppy as their later work, but rather is very much raw like "Ramones" but more clean.

"Carbona Not Glue" is a great, hard hitting example of the Ramones bratty thought processes. After the song "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue" hit the market with the release of "Ramones," many parents became noticeably and predictably alarmed. So what do the genius Ramones do in the face of such controversy? Release a song entitled "Carbona Not Glue," with Carbona being a stain removal product. Naturally the song was left off most issues of the album, making "Leave Home," an otherwise innocuous album, the only Ramones album to ever appear differently from the one originally intended.

"Suzy is a Headbanger" the second Ramones song written in a long line of "Female is a Noun" songs, is a strong offering. It offers a nice, atypical lead guitar lick right before the verses that is a rarity to hear Johnny Ramone play (aside from a similar, well-known lead on their cover of "California Sun," a song also released on "Leave Home"). I've never really liked "Pinhead." It has a singnature Ramones swagger and rhythm to it, but the message is just banal. It's too "d-u-m-b." Plus it makes me think of that ugly costumed fellow that came on stage and carried the "GABBA GABBA" sign whenever they played the song. The same sound and aesthetic works much better on 1977's "Rocket to Russia" in the song "We're a Happy Family." It even uses the same post-song voices at the end.

As much as I dislike "Pinhead" however, the song is very important ideologically for the Ramones. The Ramones here assert their empty minds against the aesthetics and politics that were a part of the English punk scene that was building up steam at the time. The Ramones just cared about getting loaded and getting girls; they could care less about the Queen, "labour" parties, or looking dark like the Damned or "punk" like the Sex Pistols, two bands which were formed in '76 and '75 respectively, and who competed heavily with the Ramones late 70's audiences. Strangely however, in the Sex Pistols' case, the Pistols would not go on to really be a thorn in the side of the Ramones until 1977.

I've always loved "Now I Wanna Be a Good Boy." One of the few "I Wanna" songs with a positive as a opposed to a negative or anti-social message, the song has very few words. But what it does have in spades is a razor sharp rhythm. "Swallow My Pride" sounds a lot like a slightly more sped up version of "I Remember You," but is still quite boring. "Swallow My Pride" however is much worse than either of those tracks, as it features extremely cheesy, high-in-the mix background vocals from I think Dee Dee (or some shitty woman) and that just really kills the song. "What's Your Game" suffers more of the same faults, although Dee Dee has much better back ground vocals when he says "Same" and "Sane" and "Oooo, Oooo." The background vocals are terribly high-in-the mix and terrible during the "Oh yeahs" however.

"California Sun" and "Commando" are two of the best Ramones songs ever recorded. Local punks "The Teeners" still cover "Commando"(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaQsZv-vavM&feature=related side note: it's amazing how FAST and HARD the Ramones played live) to this day during their Austin shows. It's one of those rare non-"Too Tough to Die" Ramones song that arguably could be construed as being "hardcore" if it were necessary to do so. It also shows the Ramones silly side, as the chorus is a Ramones dum dum classic: "First rule is: The laws of Germany. Second rule is: Be nice to mommy. Third rule is: Don't talk to commies. Fourth rule is: Eat kosher salamis."

The album end with two unexpectedly, dark Ramones songs, both about murder, "You're Gonna Kill that Girl" and "You Should Have Never Opened that Door." Both sound very bubblegum and poppy, and seeing as they deal with dark themes, follow faithfully the path made by such oldie songs as "Leader of the Pack" and that shitty Pearl Jam song. Both songs are great, and again, are about murder. They are interesting in specific content too, as the former is a lament about someone killing someone else, but the latter is about personally chopping someone's head off. These Ramones: they're big thinkers. You think they are going one way and bam, they are off in another direction.

The deluxe package of "Leave Home" is a little disappointing in that it only features one b-side (Ramones b-sides are usual reliable bread and butter; I guess they ran out of songs!) titled "Babysitter," the song that replaced "Carbona Not Glue," and, if played a little slower and drugged out, would sound exactly like any number of Jesus and Mary Chain songs. Instead of b-sides, we are treated to a live album from August 1976 featuring songs off the first two albums, which is cool if you like live albums. I don't really like live albums.

If after listening to "Leave Home," you feel a little disappointed, that's perfectly natural. Although it really is not such much a "slump" as it is a testament to how fucking awesome "Ramones" is, this album is something you will come back to faithfully later on for it's authentic late-70s loud crunch and style (doesn't at lot of '70s punk sound so much more loud, real and awesome than stuff made in the early 80s? Late 80s do not count; that's when metal ruled the world). Ok fine, those 30 songs written back then were put on the first two records in the order they were recorded, but even still I think it is patently obvious that songs on "Leave Home" just aren't as good as a whole compared to the first record. Ultimately this isn't a big deal seeing as how the year after this record came out, the Ramones would release arguably the best record of their entire career.

Grade: 8.5 out of 10.
Best For: sitting in traffic, being nerdy, hiding in a cubicle.

Ramones Mania: Pt. 1 (Ramones)

RAMONES - April 23, 1976 - U.S. Rank : 111

First a quote: "Most of the members had been in various bands since the late 1960s. Johnny and Tommy had both been in a high school garage band circa 1966-67 known as the Tangerine Puppets, and Joey was in the short-lived early 1970s glam rock band Sniper." Nice.

This is the one that started it all. Let me say this: I like this record. A lot. I listen to "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement," among others all the time even today. The thing about this record though, is that it's a paradox lesson in appreciation. Everyone should hear this record. But NOT everyone should love it. It's so good, you want to keep it for yourself, and yourself alone. You don't want to hear "Blitzkrieg Bop" at basketball games or on cell-phone commercials. You don't want to hear U2's tribute cover of "Beat on the Brat" (trust me you don't). So in a way, these songs grow sour by proxy of how they have been appropriated by the media and our pop culture. This has mainly come into play in the past, I don't know, 20 years, when people all of a sudden, as a whole, realized that the Ramones were REALLY good. So they just stick to the hits, the ones they can sink their claws in most easily. And they make cellphone commercials and all sorts of non-sense with these poor songs. The tragically ironic thing about all of this accolade is the fact that this "success" never came to the Ramones when they were really hungry for it. Within less than 10 years of breaking up in 1996, when the Ramones would finally get loads of praise for their past efforts, three of the four original Ramones were dead. Sure, the success came to them eventually, but not when they were young. It came when they were old, sick, and nearly forgotten. But whether we forget the Ramones or not, in the future, our grand children will know "Blitzkrieg Bop." Whether that's a good thing, or not, I don't know.

It's so hard for me to contextualize this album. How do I view it? As it is, or through the lens of what pop culture has robbed from it, seeing it as sullied by culture's greedy fingers. It seems tramped upon. It doesn't feel like a part of me. Still, it isn't all bad: that scene in "Royal Tenenbaums" when they played "Judy is a Punk" and you see Gywneth Paltrow make out with some topless lady totally rocked my world in 2001. It took the Ramones aesthetic and appreciated it; it didn't parade it. Sadly this is not the case with "Blitzkrieg Bop" and "Beat on the Brat," as I don't listen to the first two songs hardly ever on purpose. They're just too used. "Judy is a Punk" I still enjoy but not as much as I should. I was never a gigantic fan of "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" (a band I was in in high school, we tried to cover it, but never got around to it; "fools!" I say) but it's good enough and is also notable for setting up the Ramones absurd fascination with 60s pop. It also is the direct sonic template of "My My Kind of Girl," a song that's on their seventh record "Subterranean Jungle." It's amazing how much the Ramones ripped off their older material over the years. But at-least they stole from themselves!

"Chainsaw" is amazing by virtue of, if nothing else, how Joey Ramones pronounces "massacre." Now comes the best of the best: I am totally batshit obsessed with "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue" all the way to "Havana Affair." Mine own ears have never heard such great flow of moments in modern music. Sure "Loudmouth" is mysogynistic and repetitive, and the least glamorous of the four, but the others? The best mini EP section of a record that had no EPs. It's such strong material. It's punk. It's fun. You can hear the basslines. You can hear the rock. It's catchy. This is amazing music. I will forever remember these songs.

Things come to a screeching halt on "Listen to My Heart." Yes, it's on the first album, so it sounds great, but this is probably one of my least favorite Ramones songs. Dare I say the first boring Ramones song? It's a precursor for something that went on to mar their career with an unabated zeal: generic love songs.

"53rd and 3rd" is amazing, especially how Dee Dee really did turn tricks to score drugs. Art imitating life and all that. And this was in the early days! You get bad drug problems later in life, not from the get go. But that was the Ramones for you. This track also features cool background vox and Dee Dee's first vocal line ever (which is best kept to a short phrase about pulling out a knife). "Let's Dance" is great, and I always wonder what this version would have been like in "Animal House" despite it's unforgivable lack of cool keyboards. They come in at the end, but they sound lame and forced. "I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You" has never really grabbed me in any particular way (although it is good) but, and tell me if I am reaching here, maybe that's the point? Total indifference. Man, I need to try that on a girl sometime. "What's wrong dear? Wanna go to Waterloo?" ---- "I don't wanna walk around with you."

I am a super lover of the last track "Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World." This is a total lame memory but when I first got this record in 2001 I played this song on my bass for like 2 hours. It's so absurdly easy to play, like all Ramones songs, but something about this song really gets me. The bassline is so punchy -- it almost has a post-punk feel to it. It's very fluid, dark, and bouncy --- ahead of its time for sure. This coupled with the line "Nazi Schnazi" (a phrase I used as my own in 2005 when I first called my roommate's cat "Betsey Schmetsey") makes this song one of the Ramones most overlooked gems. The Ramones never topped anything this massively on target in terms of both punk and art , but at-least we have this song to admire.

B-Sides: Demos of "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" and "Judy is a Punk" are nothing special. The "I Don't Care" demo is bizarre, as it just boggles me that the Ramones would sit on a song like this for three years! It appears later on "Rocket to Russia" and is one of my favorites. Next, and this is very important for the Ramones aesthetic, "I Can't Be," an unused demo, is one of my favorite Ramones songs ever. Seriously. The demo, and especially the B side demo, was a weird realm for the Ramones. Unlike every one else who has every made music, the Ramones' demoed B sides and A sides actually often ended up sounding BETTER than their A sides. This is true for their first few records mainly. For some reason, the grungyness of the it all being thrown together only helps the Ramones get their point across that much better. Sure Dee Dee's bass sounds like shit, but that's good! That's the point! It also has the pentultimate couplet, "Now you say you wanna live with me/1-2-3 you wanna have a family." I used to think only Jackson 5 could write such hits through the incorporation of numbers in their song lyrics, but I was wrong. Demos of "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue" and "I Don't Wanna be Learned/Tamed" are both really great and really fast. Like "I Can't Be" they prosper from the bad sound quality. The demo for "You Should Never Have Opened that Door" is good but nothing special, thus proving that the "demos always rule" rule for the Ramones is not made of iron ore. This song actually sounds better polished, as that form suits the songs mode, late 60s power-pop, much better. As will be seen, once the Ramones got away from writing songs that are better suited to be rough both sonically and thematically, the demo becomes lesson vital to their craft.

Grade: 10 (if "Blitzkrieg Bop" wasn't everywhere)/9 (with the actual media saturation included)
Best for: sitting on the bus, with headphones, figuring out how the Ramones did audio for the first time; not wanting to go to work; at night; loud party, but only like three.

Join me next time for RAMONES MANIA: Pt. 2 (LEAVE HOME)!!!