Ways in Which I Am Different Now

I am single.
I cut down a lot on beer.
I ride my bike everyday anywhere from 6-12 miles.
I quit cooking.
I don't read books unless they are assigned.

But I watch the same amount of movies.

You know how if you never get depressed, you get depressed one day, it really hurts you regardless of the degree of depression. But if you are depressed everyday, some depressed days are better than others b/c "hey, i was 3x as depressed last week. i may be depressed right now, but it could be worse." Yeah.

Boring Girls

By Pissed Jeans. Excellent song:

There's only one type of girl on my mind
She's always on my mind
When I leave the house, I see them outside
They're always on my mind
I think of a girl that I really really need
That money can't buy
I would never be mean to these girls
They're always on my mind
Oh I want to smile for boring girls
I would walk a mile for boring girls
Oh I want to touch those boring girls
I hope I'm not too much for boring girls

There's only one type of girl on my mind
She's always on my mind
When I leave my house I see them outside
They're always on my mind
This is a girl that money can't buy
You know you caught my eye
There's only one type of girl on my mind
She's always on my mind
This is a girl that money can't buy
You know you caught my eye
There's only one type of girl on my mind
She's always on my mind

Oh I want to touch those boring girls
I hope I'm not too much for boring girls
Oh I want to kiss those boring girls
When they're gone I miss those boring girls
Oh I want to touch those boring girls
I hope I'm not too much for boring girls
Oh I want to kiss those boring girls
I know I miss those boring girls

Luckie

This is my old roommate at UTSA, one of three, and his name is Demetrius.
He was always very quiet, but a nice fellow.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Life Candy: Fat Lady Eating Pizza - #3

I swear to all that's holy, a mere two weeks after seeing a fat guy chomping on ice cream outside the TSM building at UT, in the exactly same spot I saw something amazing one Friday. This time I was not waiting for a ride against my will to West Texas, no sire, this time I was getting on my bike to ride home up Duval.

And I saw, driving in a black American sedan from the late 90s, blasting the Dixie Chicks really loud, a fat lady eating a piece of pizza and licking her fingers.

Yes my friends. The American Dream.

Soon to come: Morrissey lyrics and drinking. Has or does Mr. Moz really ever have a few of the alcomohols? He'd like to make you think so.

Dead Milkmen Interview!!!

Last Saturday morning before FUN FUN FUN FEST. here in Austin, Ben Seligson and I and a few of his buddies set up an interview with the Dead Milkmen. This weekend is Fun Fun Fun Fest, so we were like "Let's get some bands!" The Milkmen JUST reunited for the first time in four years, so we were like "yeah right that'll never happen." So we asked a bunch of other bands to come in for in-studio shows/interviews. We asked Minus the Bear, the Spinto Band, Dan Deacon, and a few others. We figure, "Well at-least we can get to do some of these guys since the Milkmen won't wanna come."

Guess who was the only one of all the above bands to not cocktease us by never confirming a show or interview with KVRX even though their managers kept emailing us telling us they were totally working on it or that it was 99% possible.

The Dead Milkmen. And their show was so good, it knocked all the other bands I saw that day out of the water. Excpet Municipal Waste who were pretty awesome. "BEEEEEERRRR PRESSURE!!!!"

Check out the interview below. I'll be honest, I always kept getting the guys confused, especially when I met them. I thought Rodney was the singer, but when I met him he didn't act like a singer, so I thought wait "Dean sings? No he plays drums." It was confusing, but as soon as Rodney Anonymous got on stage last night he was like 18 yr. Rodney all over again. They sounded so great!!!! And they covered Bauhaus.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/51068813b1b0f336/

Life Candy: Hipster vs. Fat Lady - #2

So I went to American Apparel day before Halloween (to buy a tank top - long story short, I was going to go as Peter Kriss of Kiss in a jogging outfit, but it was another terrible idea of mine and it all went to hell and I ended up going as, well, a guy wearing a tank top who carried a bottle of gin around; needless to say it wasn't the most exciting Halloween of the decade), to desperately attempt to salvage any hope for a decent Halloween costume , and I am walking around the store and there are so really obnoxious blonde girls trying things on. I had nothing against them, but they were really loud, and said dumb things of the "Candice that is so hot!" and "Jennifer I'm going as a troll!!!" variety. Whatever. So I am in line, and one of the blonde people exits the dressing room and gives shape to her voice and it turns out she's really fat. Like no bueno big. Whatever. I'm in line and she goes up to the ad nauseum hipster working the counter (Asian hipster dressed as Peter Pan) and says, "Hey just wanted to let you know, next time you make fun of customers out loud while they are trying things on and you think they can't hear you, maybe you should do it a little louder next time so they can know how big a of a BITCH you're being." The hipster is admittedly shocked, but manages a snarky "Have a nice DAY!!!!" and continues working as the fat lady exits the store. I have no idea where her blonde compatriots toddled off to, but either way they were gone.

The thing that got me about this scenario was I had no in the moment context to go on. Assuming I had to root for someone in the confrontation, the only way I could judge the situation would be to use generalized biases and stereotypes associated with the groups the people seemed to belong to. These would to help me form a judgement and opinion on the matter since I arrived too late in the scene to tell what was really gone on and who really crossed the line. So I go with what I know. For example, I judge the hipster as a semi-affluent, pretentious, silly, useless person. And the fat lady as a loud, brackish, unhealthy, vacuous person. But these significations are totally bogus when you think about them as a basis of judgement --- sure it might be fun to use one every now and again towards the butt of a joke ("hipster walks into a bar..."), but to use both together and nothing else to figure out how you stand on a complex, heated, social situation? That's totally biased thinking right there. That's not knowing nearly enough facts. Now you could say I had no business judging a situation I happened to waltz into ignorantly, but it's my world too. Let me interpret. Life is boring! Stuff like this is what it's all about.

So I was in a quandary. Even if I was still to go with my biases, I didn't like either person. So who to choose. It was like having to decide between a vulture and a hyena in a fight in the African savvanah. You really have no preference either way.

The best part though, was after the fat lady left, another hipster employee comes up to the Peter Pan hipster and states, "ummm Christina, what do you want on your pizza?" The Peter Pan hipster curtly replies as she forcefully scans an electric pink pair of hot pants for a customer, "I don't WANT pizza!"